Heavenly Baby

I wasn't sure if I really wanted to write this post but since this is our family scrapbook I really need to share this. We finally got pregnant again after our first miscarriage last June. I was so excited and wanted to surprise Scott. I really wanted to go to the doctor first to see how far along I was, because once again I had no clue. Me and my messed up body! I learned my lesson not telling him last time until it was too late so he found out early this time. We've had a bottle of sparkling grape juice forever. I told him that when I got pregnant he would know because I would break out the bottle. I didn't want it to be that obvious so I wrapped it up and put a few things in the box. That was the longest day waiting for him to come home. The smile on his face shows how happy and excited he was. I'm sure he would tell you different, but when Scott smiles it says it all, at least it does to me.

I had an appointment for 2 weeks after we found out. Talk about the longest two weeks ever. I felt great except for the being so tired, staying up past 8:00 PM was a huge thing for me! The appointment went well. They did an ultrasound to measure the little bean to see how far along I was. I was only 6 weeks and 5 days at that point. Ugh, that's all? A lot of weeks left until the scary part is over. Things were good though they could count the heartbeats and that was a surprise for being so early. Of course I came and pulled out my books to start reading about everything and seeing where the development was.



All this time I just wanted to be excited and happy but deep down I couldn't believe I was really pregnant. I had a really hard time. I would talk about it and try and be positive and upbeat but I just was so scared I would miscarry again and didn't want to be too excited and attached. We told our parents and Portia because we had her for spring break. There were also 3 people at my work that knew, because I didn't want to do chest x-rays while I was pregnant. We knew we didn't want to tell many people before we were sure things were good.

I counted down the weeks until my next appointment. I had an appointment on Monday and I would be 10 weeks and 5 days. And then the dreaded spotting started on Thursday. Not bad but I knew deep down what was happening. It took until Saturday night to start bleeding more and cramping, and then it began. Scott stayed on the couch with me most of the night. The cramping was about every 5 minutes and painful. It ended about 5:00 AM. What an emotional night that was.

We are so thankful for the knowledge that we have of the Plan of Salvation. People may argue about when a fetus actually becomes a baby or whatever but I always had a baby growing inside me. Scott and I are both comforted to know that our baby is up in heaven with our other little boy and they will be waiting for us in heaven. We are still going to be able to raise these two angel babies. How lucky I am to have two babes in heaven safe from what this world is and becoming. I just hope that Scott and I can prove ourselves worthy to return to our Heavenly Father and raise our family when this earthly life is over.

We both have the greatest families' ever with the most support. I have to say that my sister Dawn has got to be the best sister ever. She came over and picked Ryver up for the whole entire day and took him to church and spent the day with him so Scott and I could sleep, cry, sleep, and just hold each other.

It's over and I'm almost healed, having a few issues but it'll all work out. Scott's excited to keep practicing! Our time will come to actually hold our babies up in heaven, and hoping we can get a healthy full term baby here sometime before I'm 40. Thanks to everybody for their love and support and especially our wonderful parents.




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